It's one thing to be a father and have a
child. It's a whole other venture to raise and care for a child. Our Father and Creator has not only brought
me into being, but he's also cared for me. One way he's cared for me is in
how he's taught me that he will never leave me, and that I can count on him. In
my life, he taught me this in a powerful way at an early age.
When
I was about eight years old, my mother was diagnosed with brain cancer. This diagnosis
came as a shock to my tender, young brain. All I remember is her tripping in
the middle of the night one night, limping for a week, and then having to be in
the hospital for tests. Then, suddenly, my brother and I were told that she had
a brain tumor. When he told us the news, I went up to my dad and asked
urgently, "What does that mean?!"
"It
means that she's going to die," he explained. My young mind was spinning.
Throughout
the next year, her health declined, she became paralyzed on one side of her
body, and stayed in the hospital most of the time. Eventually, she fell into a
coma and stopped breathing in and my life is changed forever. The story doesn't end there. As terrifying
as this time was for me, it was also a time rich with love and meaning.
Although I never would've asked for it, got our Father used this moment in my
life as a classroom to instruct me in his power, love, and mercy. The most powerful statement that he has
spoken to us is that of love to sacrifice and suffering…the suffering of his
Son. So, we would be misguided if we were to believe that the same would
not happen to us; it would also be unfortunate if we didn't allow him to speak
to us in those moments, even the years later.
Our
Father let his power flow through into my family. Through my own dad I could
see the Father’s strength. I saw this in the steadfast way he stood by my
mother and did everything that he could to be present to my brother and me.
Also, my mother was a strong woman and didn't give up without a fight. From the
get-go, she showed an amazing resolve. She had cancer, but it didn't have her
or define her. She was stronger and so much more than the disease. I feel like this is how the Father is, like
he's saying to all of us, "Don't let your struggles define you. I'm bigger
and more powerful than anything you could go through." Even with her
passing away, I believe this because the cancer didn’t win; the Father just
wanted to give her more than this world could offer in only the way that he
could.
Into the agony of this garden, our Father poured
so much love on our family. My mom’s family came in
and stayed with us; my dad's family offered support; friends brought food and
sent flowers; so many prayed for us. Prayer became part of our household, too.
I think we prayed more during that time than we ever did as a family before. So much love was visible between my
parents. They clung to each other. Through them, he taught me what married
love looked like and showed me the love he has for us. I got the chance to get
to know family members in a way that I never would have had the opportunity to
because they all took the time to visit and cared for me by checking on me,
distracting me through outings, and watching me when my dad had to work or be
with my mom. The Father's love kept my family together during the journey of my
mom’s illness as well after when my mom passed away. It was as if the entire
time, the Father was embracing us through each other.
Through
it all, the Father showed his mercy. He was merciful to my mom and her pain and
was merciful to us who remained. Within
each Cross is Resurrection for each of us. He brought new life to our
family when he brought a woman with a beautiful heart to my dad that he could
share his life with. I got the gift of another mom, not a new mom as her
placement, but a mom who had always wanted a daughter and the mom that this
daughter needed. Plus, I gained two older brothers to love and protect me…which
eventually lead to even more family when they had children.
As
I look back and see the work of the hands of our Father, I can see it all as a
gift. I would not be the person I am
today without all that the Father has done. As Mary sang in her Magnificat, “The Mighty One has done great things for me
and holy is his name.” Not everyone gets to see and experience the fullness
of our Father's love in this life, but as the ultimate Teacher, he has taught me that suffering is part of
this life, not something that he’s done to
us. But he’s also made it clear that no matter how old I am, he will always
walk next me, so all I need to do is reach out my hand, and he will take it. Our Father is not some distant being, but a
caring, loving, powerful dad that gets into the messes of our lives with us.
We can always turn to him because he will always be there for us, just like
loving Daddy should be.
