Recently,
I had to undergo an endoscopy because of chest pain I was experiencing. In
discussion afterwards, the specialist explained that there was a great deal of
inflammation present in my esophagus causing it to constrict, so she had to stretch
my esophagus. She prescribed a liquid to take in order to coat my esophagus and
another to help reduce acid production.
In
the following days, to my disappointment, I still had pain, even worse than
before. One day, as I took my GERD medicine, I noticed that it had a sticker
that read, “Not for immediate relief.” It
was then that I realized that even though the doctor had found an issue and
been able to do something about it, the damage had been done. Damage that
would take time to heal by taking the medicine and watching what I eat, every day,
little by little.
And,
so it is with us and sin. Within each of us, over time, due to various
decisions or life events, certain sins can build up and become an issue. Sometimes,
this is due to a root sin that has been allowed in over time. This root sin can become part of our daily
habits, cloud our vision and our thinking, and affect the way we treat others.
Whichever sin it is, it can take over, subtly, until eventually; it rears its
ugly head (which I think can be a gift; I’ll explain in a bit) and must be
dealt with.
You
can fill in the blank with your personal issue(s). For me, it is pride. It gets
me every time. For some time now, the Father has been working on this within
me. Like a good Physician, he’s diagnosed the problem, brought it to my
attention, and has offered medication. So,
why oh why, must I still struggle with pride?
I
think it’s similar to my esophagus issue: the damage has been done. There is heart burn on my soul. My thoughts
and heart are used to things being a certain way. Why doesn’t he just take
it away? Then, I would be happy and free! Well, not exactly. If he took sin
away, then we would not be able to choose freely. It took time to get here; it’s going to take
time to heal. So, how does this happen? I have to take my medicine and, literally,
swallow my pride by practicing humility every day. EVERY DAY, I have to take the medicine that is not for immediate
relief because it’s become almost ‘natural’ for me be automatically prideful in my reactions,
thoughts, and words. These habits must be reordered.
It is a gift
when our Father brings issues up within us. No, it doesn’t always feel like it. Actually,
it can be painful. But, it is such a beautiful thing! If he didn’t, it would mean
that he didn’t care, and that is so not true. He wants to spend eternity with
us and utilize us to share his love with others while we are here on earth. We
cannot do that when sin clouds our view and makes us look at ourselves instead of others in need or at him. Indeed, it is through his grace
that he shows us what is going on and offers us the opportunity to heal and overcome sin. I say ‘opportunity’ because
that’s what it is. He will not force it, but if we want what he wants and to
follow him, then we must strive for holiness. Through grace, he extends his hand and allows us the freedom to accept
it. Then, through grace, we cooperate in the process. He points out the sin
or issue, mercifully offers forgiveness, and then stretches us through
situations that could trigger something in us, but are meant to actually allow
us to practice living virtuously. We choose, then, what to do at that point.
AND, since our
Father offers us so much during this time, we are given cause to thank and
praise him because he is the Father who loves MUCH, unconditionally, and is the
Father of second chances. In those times that I don’t feel like praising, I
try to offer it as a sacrifice until I fully realize (or at least see better)
what glorious things he has done.
Over
time, my esophagus will heal. Before then, there will be pain and it may even
need to be stretched again. One day,
pride will not be so much a part of me, and I will be living more closely
according to who I was created to be. Until then, there will be struggle and
pain, but I, through humility, allow him to grow me, beg his forgiveness and
ask for his grace and wisdom to continually, every day, guide me in practicing
to be holy.
