Valentine’s Day is coming and for about a month now, stores and
commercials have been giving us ideas about how to show those who are special
to us how much we love them. Houses and classrooms are decorated with red and
pink hearts. With all of this love in
the air, there must be a lot of love in our hearts, right? It probably
depends on what one means by love.
When you say, “I love you.”
What do you mean? This is something that I’ve been sitting with for
some time. By having only one word for love, I think the English language has
done a disservice to us. So, love can be
the word that is placed between a subject and an object to designate strong or
happy feelings…I love my car; I love the color yellow; I love you.
So, what does the sentence, “I love you” mean? You make me feel
good? You’re hot? You make me laugh? I want what is best for you?
The answer is so subjective, one might say. However, let’s think
of this using an example, like, being a sibling. Do your brothers and sisters
always make you feel good? Probably not. Do you think they’re hot? Awkward.
Let’s say no. Do they always make you laugh? Maybe. Do you want what is the
best for them? Of all the answers, that seems to be the most probable because no matter what happens between you
and your siblings, you want what is best for them.
Additionally, the first three are rather self-serving. This
tells us something else about love. Love
is about the other person, not ourselves. Think about a mother giving
birth. When she looks into her newborn eyes, she’s not thinking that she feels
good…because she doesn’t. And, her child hasn’t had the chance to do anything
for her except give her cravings and heartburn, so it can’t have anything to do
with what the baby has done for the mother. A mother’s love comes from the care
and concern she has for her baby. This is proven by the 9 months of sacrificing
what she would like to eat or do for what is best for the health of her baby.
Speaking of mothers, a
great mother who can teach us about love is Mary, the Mother of God. This
is shown in several Scripture passages, but one that sticks out to me is the
Presentation. Mary and Joseph are presenting Jesus according to Jewish law, and
they are met by an elderly man, Simeon, who knows a lot about them and their
Special Baby. He tells Mary that Jesus will be rejected by some and that a
sword will pierce her own heart. This is rather sobering. A sword in the heart
is painful. Period.
Mary teaches us so much with such grace. She has already,
without knowing everything, said yes to carrying this Baby risking scandal and
ridicule. Then, at this point, she hears the last thing a mother wants to hear
about her son. Still, not quite
understanding, yet knowing that this path will involve pain, she says yes. “I
will go through this. I will not abandon Jesus, and I choose to abandon myself
to God’s Will.” She loves her Son and He needs a mother to raise Him. God
has asked her to do this, and out of love for Him, her Son, and us (The people
He came for; people she had yet to know…Mary even loved us enough to make this
sacrifice.) Through this, she shows us how to love in that she lived allowing
God to love through her. Later on, she exemplifies unconditional love again by
accompanying Jesus during His torture and Crucifixion.
How could Mary proceed with
raising Jesus knowing that He wouldn’t be accepted and that she would be caused
pain?
How did she not run away from this? Love. Real. Pure Love. The power of God had
to be radiating through her to allow her to move forward in love and strength.
So, what could God be teaching us through Mary? Love involves sacrifice of our own dreams
or desires. Part of the Presentation is Mary offering Jesus back to God. In
doing this, she offers her very heart to Him as well. Love is a choice. She
chose to follow God, to walk with her Son on His path, to be His mother.
What does this mean for us? We are called to love in this way.
If God is our Father, then those people that we work with, sit next to on the
bus, those who annoy us, and those who live in ways that we disagree with are
all our brothers and sisters. Love is a choice. We choose to love, to
hate, or to be indifferent. It is a choice we must make everyday. What does
this have to do with Valentine’s Day? Nothing. Unless you hand out a Valentine
to everyone you meet. Ironically, those
who need love the most are the last ones who need a stuffed teddy bear and a
box of chocolates. Gifts are not bad, but the best gift we can give someone
else is our love.
The amazing thing is that we have a Father who knows Love and
offers Himself completely. He has an
enormous capacity for love that can stretch our hearts to really look our
brothers and sisters and say “I love you!” All the while prayerfully asking,
“Father, show me how to love them like you do and, then, give me the grace to
do it.”
