A Prayer

Let me dream of dancing with you, of joining in with the angels. Take my hand and lead the way. Lift me up and show me how.

Let me dream of being a joy to your heart, of bringing you glory, of you holding me close and letting your love wash me clean...making me new.

Let me dream of being for you what you dream me to be...where you are my Father and I am your child. When your will is my desire and my pride is melted away revealing a heart of pure humility.

Let me dream of a banquet and a place and time that is like no other. Where family is reunited and you shine bright and we all delight in your presence.

Let my dreams be a glimpse of Heaven, until pursuing it and sharing it with others is my dream, my bread, my life. Father, take my hand and lead the way, so that I may know the steps to take and make this dream reality.

The Gardener's Apprentice

Faith is a gift. Recently, I've been contemplating what this means. What has come to mind are seeds. Seeds for our soul. Some of us may look at the metaphorical pack of seeds and, uncertain of what it is, say, “No, thank you.” Others might say, “I don't need those.” Some even seem to have been there on the day that God had been giving out a two-for-one kind of deal! (I’m imagining a well-kept, middle-aged gardener on the street corner or going door to door offering plain packets of seeds.) I think some people may walk by or won't even open the door. Even more, people might respond saying that they need to do more research because really, they don't understand gardening. But, still He offers… the Gardner continues to offer us seeds.

What I think we often forget is that our Father offers us the gift of faith daily. This is not the type of gift that is to be set on the shelf. Once received, the expectation is that we “plant” them within, knowing that the Gardener would do what needs to be done in order for them to bloom. The best gardens are the ones that are tended to constantly. Our soul is an area that doesn't come with a “grower’s guide” so we have to continue going back to the Gardner with, even the most basic of questions like, “How do I start?” Thus, in order for faith to take, we have to become the Gardener’s apprentice.

For us to accept the gift of faith we must have faith and believe; we must have faith to have a relationship, trusting that the Father will not lead us astray. We have to have faith to accept faith. What does this mean? Even if it is small, it is still faith. Just one “okay.” from us will allow the process to start. I think this is why so many of the Saints speak about having faith to believe, instead of believing (or knowing) to have faith. What is both beautiful and complicated is that we don't know what kind of garden we will be growing with the Father's guidance; it could be thorny; it could need a lot of weeding. “Researching” before we accept faith can get us stuck in the details, the difficulties, leading us to say, “I don't want any of that!” However, every rose has its thorn and removing weeds reveals and allows room to grow. And, the Father is the Master Gardener. He knows how it will turn out, the beautiful, lush landscape that our lives…our souls will come to be.

So, when I feel less than full of faith, that's when I need to ask myself, “How have I nurtured my faith today?” Have I watered it with prayer or Scripture, pruned it with Reconciliation, nourished it with the Eucharist? Have I sat in silence for further direction on what to do? Faith takes work, a definite effort on our part. Sometimes, the effort lies in us just being and not doing anything.

I think faith is the gift of knowing in our deepest selves that the Creator is our Father…that God not only exists, but that He will also take care of us, of all...knowing that He will provide, guide, listen. That He freely desires to participate in our lives… the lives of his children. And, while we do nothing to earn faith, we must become nothing in order to experience it. Really, this is the best gift we can give ourselves.

Like Coming Home

The one moment of love that set us free is God’s Son on the Cross. However, we come to know His love when we look at this and understand that He died for us and His love is real. We were saved when He died, but we have to accept the action of love, fully. Some people say that they are saved, but in fact, they are not because they haven’t accepted that Christ died, that He died for them. And, that they are to love others, follow Him by building His Kingdom, and participate in suffering themselves. It’s a lot to take in.

However, there can be a moment of awakening that starts the process of opening our hearts. That would be the moment that we look away from ourselves long enough to see the love that is right in front of us saying, “Wow! I had no idea.” It’s like coming home.

Once we notice His love, then we have the opportunity to choose, every day, to let Him love us. It must permeate our entire beings…body and soul, consume us. But, not everyone is ready for that. That’s why it’s a process. We must recognize that we need love. We must acknowledge the walls that are there and choose to take them down and come face to face with Him in order for us to do that together. We must pray to see what we are attached to so that we can gain the strength from the Father to overcome it. We have to desire this relationship because it takes work, courage, and faith. 

So many of us give up before we start, or we get a rush or a blessing and try to make that the relationship and start again, but then it is short-lived. We have to be humble enough to look at ourselves in the mirror to see the flaws and face our Father without the masks and cover ups that we use, naked, if you will, stripped of the comfort of earthly things. This leads to holiness because all we have is God…and that’s all we need, really. But, we have to learn or retrain our flesh not to find comfort on earth through pleasure, sin, etc. We must not allow fear or laziness keep us from stepping out of ourselves and changing.

By allowing the light of Christ’s Crucifixion shine in the dark crevices of our souls and clinging to Him on the Cross and letting the Holy Spirit change us, strip us, and purify us…all while falling into the arms of our Father, so He can embrace us, we find the grace and strength possible to come to know Love.